[Eds. note: This is the first of 14 runner-up posts from the recent Kauai on My Mind Creative Competition.]
by Richard Diamond
“Am I going to die, Richard?”
I sit quietly, as always, staying with the Presence. I have felt the Presence as awareness, reflecting “isness,” or the “I Am.” Lately, though, the Presence has been filled with light; it is Light. As I remain in the stillness, I experience the Light as the I Am. This Light is the threshold . . . a gateway to that which lies beyond all form . . . all language and all metaphor. I love this Light. It is mySelf.
“Yes, mom, you’re going to die.” I respond.
She closes her eyes and “bounces” her head on the pillow nervously in a kind of circular motion, a habit of hers that helps her release the contraction of fear.
“We are all going to die,” I add. “You are not alone here. Everyone goes.”
“I’m afraid, Richard.”
“I know, Mom. That is why I am here.”
“Why are you here?” a question, she has asked me countless times before.
“I am here to help you let go of your fear.”
“It will never happen,” she responds. “I will always be afraid.”
“Perhaps, mom. But I am here anyway; I am the part of your mind that reflects back to you the peace that lies beyond all fear.”
She closes her eyes again, . . . . and bounces.
Suddenly she stills a bit and opens her eyes. She glances at the closet in her room and asks, “Is my party dress there?”
“Party dress?” I reply, wondering, looking towards the closet.
“Yes, I need my party dress for my party. Can you get me my party dress?”
“Yes,” I reply, of course.
When I am with my mother, I don’t speak to her as a 91 year old suffering from dementia, but prefer to keep the interchange “across the board” and simply be available for whatever comes up. In short, I approach the interaction like an exchange I might have with anyone.
“What color would you like?” I ask her.
“I would like a dark color?”
“Like blue? or green?”
“Yes,” she replies. “Blue or green.”
And with that Mom bounces again, closing her eyes.
“I’m afraid, Richard,” Mom repeats her mantra again.
“Yes, Mom, I know,” I follow suit, my response completing this short dialogue that we have had now . . . hundreds of times. “That is why I am here.”
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
3 comments:
a brilliant piece of writing. tender and realistic.
I love the straight dialogue of this piece. It needs no adornment. The dialogue says it all. Very powerful, heartfelt and touching.
Hey Richard, this was a wonderful piece--the dialogue said it all, the two paragraphs wher you were trying to explain your state of mind were not necessary--the dialogue already Showed it, as in all good writing--"don;t tell me, show me" works best:)
way to go!
Misha
Post a Comment