by Pam Woolway
You live here?
King Kalakaua was forced to sign the "Bayonet Constitution" in 1887, sharply curtailing his powers and diminishing the Native Hawaiians' voice in government.
Where’s a good place to surf?
All men shall have the right, in an orderly and peaceable manner, to assemble.
Is there a place to rent surfboards?
Whenever a slave shall enter Hawaiian Territory, he shall be free.
I’m not going nowhere till I find a bar.
Involuntary servitude, except for crime, is forever prohibited in this Kingdom.
Have you ever been to Oregon?
The person of the King is inviolable and sacred.
Ha ha ha ha . . . how long?
All men may freely speak, write, and Publish their sentiments.
Is there any good beaches?
All men are free to worship God according to the dictates of their own consciences.
How warm’s the water?
This sacred privilege hereby secured, shall not be so construed as to justify acts of licentiousness.
Where do you stay at?
The King convenes the Legislature at the seat of Government, or at a different place, if that should become insecure from an enemy or any dangerous disorder.
Is there a bar there?
Or practices inconsistent with the peace or safety of the Kingdom.
Do they pay for your food?
He shall be obliged to contribute his proportional share to the expense of this protection, and to give his personal services, or an equivalent when necessary.
Ha ha ha ha . . . do you surf?
God hath endowed all men with certain inalienable rights.
Do you fish?
In times of peace.
Can I see your tattoo?
Except on probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation.
How long did that take?
It shall be held inviolable forever.
You ever been off Hawaii?
The Princess Liliuokalani, and the heirs of her body, lawfully begotten, and their lawful descendants in direct a line.
Ever been anywhere?
When in cases of rebellion or invasion.
By choice?
Life, liberty, and the right of acquiring, possessing, and protecting property, and of pursuing and obtaining safety and happiness.
So what do you do for fun?
War, invasion, rebellion, pestilence, or other public disaster.
Do you own a boat?
No person shall ever sit upon the Throne, who is insane or an idiot.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
6 comments:
Huh? This is gibberish.
There's a term in poetry called "conceit." The conceit of this poem is The Bayonet Treaty and directly quotes it. The ensuing conversation is a result of eavesdropping on a tourist asking a local fisherman a series of questions. Hopefully you can find the humor in it now.
thanks. Pam
I love the pairing of 2 centuries with 2 disparate individuals. What is important to us today seems infinitely shallow compared to the concerns of the past. thank you!
wow...I happened upon this site totally by accident...and was impressed with how you capture the frivolity of the tourist against the historic native Hawaiian experience. The intertwining ironies of your word placement caused me to linger and re-read.
Pam, I loved this. I've never read the direct language of the Bayonet Constitution and it was stark and striking contrasted with teh questions. As always, I'm fascinated with your view of the world!
I read this poem as in the present, when we are all slaves to our jobs or the banks or the state that own our lives. Though it cannot be said that an idiot ever has ruled our land, idiocy is so prevealent that sanity is never maintained for long. What the hawaiian has lost, the tourist has also lost though the latter is not aware of it. This poem is very heartbreaking. It should be read to music because it is very soulful.Beautiful.
Post a Comment